By BOOGER

PART FIVE

Roger Ebert; "We're back."

Gene Siskel; "Ha! You held off because of my operation, and I got one good shot in!"

Roger; "Yes, Gene. You got one good shot in, and smacked the floor assistant, Doris. I really think they shouldn't have let you out of the hospital, quite yet. Can I get back to the review now?"

Gene; "Yes, Bridgette."

Roger; "In Booger's latest film, we have a simple rehash of the famous James Bond double-oh-seven plot formula. Shadowy evil empire "Smersh" takes over the planet Earth for its own nefarious purposes, and..."

Gene; "You use too many big words."

Roger; "Gene, don't interrupt. It'll be your turn in a moment. Your time cue is on the little card right there." (Points to cue card man.)

Gene; "Oh, thanks, Miss Lolobridgida."

Ebert; "...and, with all the resultant daring-do by Mr. Bond, in epic proportion, he saves the world yet again. In A WICKED PERSUASION, we have all of that, and less. In fact, it comes off as a work in progress. Too many loose ends. Too many ill defined characters...I..."

technician; (whispers, hands phone to Gene Siskel) "Urgent call for you Mr. Siskel."

Roger; "!!!...we're in the middle of a show here!"

Gene; (To person on phone.) "Ummmmmm. Ya. Yup. NO. Size? (Looks at Ebert's waist.) Mmmm, about 59 inches. Yeah, bigger than a truck tire. No, smaller than a laundromat extractor."

Roger; "Gene, who are you talking to!? We're doing a show here!"

Gene; "It's Booger. He's upset with your review, Caroline."

Roger; "Gene, hang up, allright? Think of your professional integrity!"

Gene; (On phone.) "Well, alright. I'll make sure he gets it, and thanks from me, for your gift; but you must understand, this in no way biases my review of your film, Mr. Booger." (Gene hangs up.)

Roger; "Well? Come on, millions of people are watching, and you're ON!"

Gene; "A WICKED PERSUASION, is the movie of the century! I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this film. It's an entertainment for all ages, and you can take the whole family to see it. Mom, dad, the kids, even Fido too." (Turns to Ebert.) "Oh, and Emily, you were way off in your review of David Bowie's; "The Man Who Fell To Earth"."

Roger; "My NAME'S NOT EMILY!!! What does Bowie's movie have to do with this discussion anyway! We're not talking about Bowie here!"

technician; (whispers) "Time's up, Mr. Ebert."

Roger; "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TIME'S UP!!!"

technician; "Go to commercial. And one, two, three..."

CRASH!

(Fade out...)

Continue to Part 6...