By BOOGER

PART SIXTEEN

Meanwhile at the dock in the sub pen;

A miniature submarine surfaced next to the dock and it quickly nudged itself over to the moorings there. A hatch opened and several men in military jump suits rushed out, tying off the sub and climbing up the ladders, pistols drawn.

Sub commander; (Rushes up to the first scientist and "Bowie".) "Identify yourself! And who's this?" (He points to "bowie" who's all trussed up.)

first scientist; "Don't shoot! I only work here! James Bond was here and had me tie this guy up!"

commander; "Put your weapon down and get your hands up. Everyone here is considered an accesory to major crimes!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

In the tv studio Farquar had pushed a self destruct button, which would set off explosive charges that would collapse the entrance to the submarine pen. He collapsed to the floor, and the second scientist walked up to him.

scientist; "Hey, what was that all about? What did you do?"

Farquar; "Ukhkglub..."

scientist; "What? Hey, do you need an aspirin or something?"

Farquar; "You have fifteen minutes to get out of here, before...(gag, wretch)...before the roof caves in!"

scientist; "Holy Moly! I'd better get going then, huh? Farquar, I'd like to say it's been nice working with you, but..."

Farquar; "J*^mle0%! Idiot! You...go die now!"

scientist; "See ya Farky! By the way, that's what everyone 'round the office used to call you!"

Farquar rolled his eyes and passed out. The second scientist ran out, and tried to remember which direction up the corridor he'd come from.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Rex ran, panting, out into the sub pen, but when he saw the U.N. submariners, he hit the brakes and skidded on the metal floor, his toenails squeaking loudly upon it. One of the U.N. men saw this; "Sir, look, over there, a huge black dog."

A few seconds later, Bond rushed out behind Rex. "I say, it's me, Bond, Her Majesty's Secret Service! Someone apprehend that dog!"

One submariner held a gun on the first scientist while the other two ran towards Rex. Unknown to everyone, "bowie" had worked his way out of his ropes. He flung his leg out and knocked the U.N. man with the gun over, then sprang up and, snatching up the gun, ran for the submarine.

first scientist; "Hey! He's getting away!"

"Bowie" slid down the ladder, and nearly dove headfirst down the open hatch of the waiting submarine, closing and sealing the hatch cover behind him. Seeing no one inside, he got behind the controls and began to figure them out.

Meanwhile Bond watched Rex shoot past him and back up the corridor, himself being too exhausted to grab for the dog. The submariners made to follow Rex, but;

Bond; "Wait, forget him! Look! The c.e.o. has commandeered your sub! Besides, if I know that Farquar fellow, he'll have some sort of self destruct mechanism set up around here somewhere, so I suggest we get out of here! Quick, radio in and send another sub. We can get the c.e.o. later"

submariner; "Radio?"

They all stood 'round and looked at one another blankly.

In the corridor, Rex bolted past the second scientist, who was headed in the right direction after all. Rex dashed back into the tv studio and grabbed Farquar by the sleeve, tugging at it until he awoke.

Rex; (thinking at Farquar) "Where is the emergency escape pod?!"

Farquar; (thinking at Rex) "Sorry, we couldn't afford one, you curr!"

Rex; (still thinking at Farquar) "You liar! Curr am I ?!"

SCENE DELETED BECAUSE OF HORRIBLE, GRATUITOUS, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Bond; "You didn't think to bring a radio!?"

submariner; "Um, no, it was in the sub."

Bond; "Ach! Very well, there's a pay phone over there on the wall, see if you can reach headquarters!"

submariner; "Anybody got any change?"

Bond; "BLOODY HELL!"

Continue to Part 17...